Thank you to Nancy Gorman Robinson who sent along this story of one of her ancestors for publication on the blog. If you're having a bad day or week or year, read this and you may see things from a different perspective!
"Love, Loss and Survival in Defiance
This is a different kind of family story, and one that is quite amazing, I think. It's about Bernard and Mary Gorman in the 1800s and about love, loss and survival.
Bernard was the brother of my great-great grandfather, Michael Gorman. They emigrated to American in 1847, likely together and possibly with their two younger sisters, Margaret and Catherine, and they settled in Defiance. Bernard was born in Ireland in 1824, so he was 23 when he arrived; Michael was 29. Bernard is my 2nd great grand-uncle, but this story is really about his wife, Mary E. Hess.
Mary Hess was born in Canton, Ohio, in 1837. When she and Bernard were married in Defiance, Ohio, in 1854, they were 17 and 30 years old, respectively. Exactly nine months after their wedding, they welcomed their first child, a boy they named Michael, after Bernard's big brother. (As families often did, Michael Gorman also named his first son after his brother, Bernard.) Mary soon gave birth to three more children, each one about a year apart, giving her four children ages 1 - 6 years. Then, tragically, diphtheria caused the death of little 6 year-old Michael, their first-born, which undoubtedly devastated Mary and Bernard. They must have lived in fear that the younger ones, who at the time were about 1, 2 and 3 years old, would suffer the same fate. But they didn't.
Two years after little Michael's death, Mary had a baby boy; two years after that, another boy, and four years after that, yet another boy. Then three years later, in 1872, Mary had a baby girl named Clara, who was to be the last child by Bernard, as he died two months after Clara was born. It's reported that Bernard suffered from asthma for quite some time.
Now Mary was a 35 year old widow and the mother of seven children, ages 0 - 14. But fate wasn't done dealing crushing blows to Mary. Little Clara died at the age of 3 years and 9 months, probably from a typical, incurable childhood disease of the 19th century, just as 6 year old Michael did.
In 1877, about a year after Clara's death, Mary married 35 year-old Robert J. McBroom. (He went by "R. J.") We can only speculate the kind of man who welcomes a widow and six young children into his life, to provide for and help raise. Between 1877 and 1882, Mary and R. J. had their own three sons together, bringing their household offspring to nine children. This time, Mary enjoyed the company of her second husband for 36 years until R.J.'s death in 1913. (She was married to Bernard Gorman for 18 years.)
But Mary's story continues: She died in 1934 at the age of 97, considered old age today, but extremely old age for someone born in 1837, when the average life expectancy for women was about 45. How did she do it with the added burden of constant grief, outliving two husbands and nine of her eleven children? She outlived R. J. by 22 years, and didn't even have the good fortune of watching all of her adult children live long lives. Three of them died in their 20s, another at age 31, and another at age 47. Only two McBroom sons, Joseph and Clarence, outlived their mother by 21 and 7 years, respectively. Joseph lived 78 years and died in 1955. Clarence lived 59 years and died in 1941.
There are two more unusual tragedies this extraordinary woman had to bear, then somehow carry on. Her son, John H. Gorman found work on the Panama Canal in 1906 at the age of 47, but died just four days after his arrival there. It is presumed he left a wife and two young children. (Documents are still being verified and cause of death being researched.) He is buried at the Corozal American Cemetery in Panama.
Mary's son, Frank Gorman, was married at age 20. Frank's wife, Myrtle, gave birth to a child 10 or 11 months later, but the child died along with Frank. Father and infant were buried together. So Mary lost her son and grandchild at the same time. Frank's wife, Myrtle, lost her husband and child less than a year after their wedding day. (The cause of death for Frank and the infant is unknown, but being researched.)
Mary also outlived 11 of her 12 younger brothers and sisters. When she was 86 years old, she chose six people to be pallbearers for when the day would come for her funeral service. She outlived them all, and when she chose six more, 5 years later, she outlived many of them, as well.
Mary E. Hess Gorman McBroom is buried next to both of her husbands, Bernard and R. J., and close to nine of her 11 children at Riverside Cemetery in Defiance, Ohio. We can't know how she ever coped with so much loss in her long life, but we do know she had to be an amazing lady to survive it."
Information from Nancy Robinson:
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